Can’t tell my Zumba instructor nothin’
today at school a boy named miguel jumped up on the lunch table
ripped his shirt off (his chest said “be mine”)
and started playing ‘careless whisper’ on the saxophone that he pulled basically out of thin air
like you can think i’m lying, i would, but
ARE THOSE BACKUP DANCERS
The highlight of my teenage years
so i came out on facebook today
If you say “nevermind” to me I will actually worry about it for the rest of my life
if you unfollow me please send me a message saying which post finally did it
Why must you hurt me so?
When Effie said “You both deserve so much more than this” I DIED.
I love Effie…I didn’t like her at first, but she means well
NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THIS IS DISGUSTING THIS IS TERRIBLE SHE IS WASTING PERFECTLY GOOD FUCKING DORITOS SHES WASTING THESE DELICIOUS GODSENT CREATIONS SHES PROBABLY NOT EVEN GONNA EAT THEM SHES BATHING IN THEM I SAY WE FEAST ON HER NACHO FLAVORED FLESH FOR BETRAYING THE HOLY DORITO
are you kidding i’m more concerned about how she’s going to get the goddamn dorito dust out of all her nooks and crannies like come on you can’t touch one without getting it on you how the hell is she going to get that out of her skiddlyboop
yet another unrealistic expectation for women
We are all humans.
Post of the Day.